At some point Allen had turned onto his right side, curled up with his back towards the window. The moonlight lit up the room, making his hair glow… the parts that were not still dark with blood, at least. His room was chilly, making him shiver in the thin bloodstained tshirt he still wore. He remained asleep, completely oblivious to the sounds of the window opening and Lavi‘s voice.
Tag: trigger warnings
closed starter
Lavi’s reply came before Allen had a chance to doze off again, and he quickly replied.
To: Lavi
Yea, Ill let you know.
Of course, he probably would cancel that one too… Even though he knew he couldn’t avoid them forever. His friends would realize why he cancelled the next time he saw them. But he didn’t want to deal with trying to make excuses and stories for now. He really didn’t know what he could tell them, he could tell the injury needed stitches and would be obvious he didn’t get any medical attention when they saw him next…
Cant do anything about it for now… He just wanted to sleep. He got up, feeling a bit dizzy, to shove a chair in front of his door. It wouldnt stop anyone if they were determined to get in, but it made him feel a bit better. He knew that the house was empty for now, but he had no idea when someone would return. And if they had gone this far already, he was terrified of what they might do next. Maybe I should just let them kill me… he thought, not for the first time. It would be an easy way out… and it would be satisfying to know that they would likely be jailed, it was much harder to hide murder than abuse. But his friends…
No use dwelling on it, if it happens, it happens. He thought, sprawling over the covers of his bed. He could think about all of it later, after he had a nap.
In minutes, Allen had fallen asleep.
closed starter
After he sent the text, Allen let his eyes fall closed, making no attempt to get up to go under the covers. He felt exhausted, probably a combination of the pain, blood loss, and stress. Even so, he really did wish he could have gone to his party tonight. Hanging out with his friends always made him forget about the bad things for a while.
His phone chimed a few minutes later, startling him out of the daze he had fallen into. He unlocked it to read the text and smiled. Typical Lavi, wanting to find some way to still celebrate, even if it involved soup instead of cake… But he doubted Kanda would be disappointed if it were cancelled.
For a few moments, Allen wondered what his friends reactions would be if they saw him like this. Even Kanda might worry… He knew they would do anything they could to help, and Allen desperately wanted it. But wouldn’t it be selfish to use his friends to help him get out of his own problem…? They have their own lives and problems… I cant make them deal with mine too.
To Lavi:
Its ok, I just need to rest a bit. Sorry for cancelling when everyone was looking forward to it. You guys could just hang out without me, I dont mind.
Hopefully Lavi would decide he wasn’t sick enough to worry about. Back when they were both in high school, he had a bad habit of sneaking through his window at the most random times to visit him, and would come check on him whenever he was absent ‘sick’ for a day. It really was a miracle his foster family never caught the two of them… Allen had thought it was sweet, though, even though it meant he always had to make sure he hid any injuries even when he was at home.
Lavi had stopped the surprise visits once he had graduated, and for a while Allen had missed them. Now he was glad Lavi had stopped, it meant he could lie here and sleep without worrying about covering the slashes up somehow…
May's Blog 