dw-writes:

Allen couldn’t recall when, exactly, he had wound back up in the Black Order. Well, he knew the day. But. He couldn’t… Allen ran his hands over his face.

He knew everything that happened when Nea had hjiacked his body. He remembered his eyes opening in the hotel to see Johnny, how his body had attacked him and Kanda threatened him. How Nea pretended to be Allen so perfectly that it fooled even the man that hated Allen more than he did himself. How Nea had ran off with Johnny and found…

Allen choked. It was Mana. The Earl was Mana. It made so much sense. Cross’s warning about if he was ready to kill someone he loved. The way the Earl had been so determined to kill him. The way Allen felt something inside him hellbent on tearing the Earl to shreds. He gagged as the memories of Nea floated around in his mind.

“Mana ate…” he gulped and buried his face in his arms, releasing a piercing wail. The guards outside glanced at the door and shuddered. Allen dug his nails into his arms.

“Did you only let me stick around,” Allen whispered, “Because you knew who I was??” He sniffled and swiped at his eyes. “Because you felt that we were supposed to be one person? Because…” He choked on the words and sobbed.

“I thought you loved me…” The words pressed against the stone walls and vanished. He craved a hug. Any kind of hug. Particularly a Lenalee hug since he knew that Tim was gone. He teared up more. He’d even go for a Cross hug right now. A laugh bubbled up at the thought. It continued into a stream of giggles that he couldn’t stop.

He felt his arms wrap around himself and squeeze as his own consciousness slipped from the forefront of his mind.

“It’s okay, kid,” he heard his own voice say, “That…kinda happens to everyone when they’re around Mana…” Nea gulped and squeezed tighter. trying to offer some kind of comfort to Allen. He liked the kid. He hated seeing him like this. Damn, Cross really had rubbed off on him, that bastard.

Nea’s control was ripped from him when Allen suddenly released another wail. Allen covered his head with his hands and sobbed, curling into himself.