Allen hastily redressed himself, wrinkling his nose when he realized he was going to smell weird when he got back to the Order. Hopefully no one would notice, it wasn’t at all unusual for Exorcists to return badly in need of a bath…
The landscape outside looked familiar, and he could see the tall tower of the Order in the distance, indicating they were nearly to their stop. He busied himself with making sure his belongings were all in order, sneaking peeks at Lavi from under his bangs every so often.
Allen was tempted to point out that most of the mess had actually come from him, but decided to just keep quiet as Lavi helped him clean up. His cheeks burning, he pulled his shirt back on and looked around to figure out where Lavi had thrown the rest of his clothes.
Allen melted into the kiss, and by the time Lavi pulled away, he felt much calmer. Lavi wouldn’t kiss me like that if this meant nothing, right? As Lavi brushed away his tears, not seeming to have any aversion to touching his scar, Allen was able to return Lavi’s smile.
Allen noted that Lavi’s voice sounded odd, but he didn’t try to pry into why; he figured Lavi probably had his own feelings to work out, just as Allen did.
“Oh no, when is our stop?” Allen asked, starting to rise but pausing as he noticed liquid on his stomach begin to drip to the floor.
“Uh…” he blushed as he tried to think of how to deal with getting cleaned up and dressed in time for their stop. He didn’t want to have to put his clothes on and get this all over them.
Allen shook his head, closing his eyes as his hand was pulled away. He felt awful for worrying Lavi, and a part of him felt selfish for breaking down like this in his presence. This couldn’t wait until I was alone…?
“No, it didn’t hurt. I’m just…” He didn’t know how to explain, not without telling Lavi what he was actually crying about. And he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t make Lavi feel obligated to be in some sort of relationship with him.
He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself enough to at least pretend he was fine.
“Im sorry… I don’t know what came over me.” he said, “I just felt a little emotional, I guess.” He forced out a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.
Allen felt Lavi start to move, and didn’t have enough time to wipe his tears away before Lavi noticed. He covered his eyes with a hand, trying to calm himself down enough to regain control.
“I’m f-fine.” he said, and realized that his voice sounded anything but. “I… I’m just…” he couldn’t think of a good excuse, not with his emotions making his chest burn, making it hard to breath.