So Ive been like, unconsiously avoiding going to bed ever since I got home from LA yesterday, or at least until Ive been drop dead exhausted. (took till ~6am yesterday to reach the point that I even laid down, I wake up to get ready for work at 7:20am)
I only just realized its because Im desperately distracting myself from dwelling on toxic stuff for more than the small controlled doses of dwelling involved while trying to deal with or address things.
Like, I dwell like crazy when I lay down, and Ive been finding the biggest things I can to distract myself all day.
Its past midnight and Im almost past the point of even being tired, I just have a migraine again.
(Side note: my lack of sleep and probably how I messed up my meds from this weekend trip are now resulting in my boss trying to fire me again because I couldnt keep a handle on certain adhd behaviors. Minor ones. Because I had one bad day after months of doing well. Fun. I had thought about calling in sick but I decided to not because it would leave the office really short handed. Ill really will just do it next time I mess my meds up, me being sick causes less boss drama than one mildly bad day caused…)
May's Blog 