“Yea, but I didn’t. And neither did you, which is what counts.“ (Yes, of course! You’re playing Lavi?)
“Yeah, but—” He bit his lip, breaking off his words when he realized the words that lay on the tip of his tongue, just a split second from being put out on the open. But did you ever think about how I would if something had happened to you?
Lavi took a deep breath, trying to choke down his partially misplaced anger and will away the image of Allen lying in that bamboo thicket that wormed its way to the surface. He remembered the lone playing card that lay where Allen should have and the gruesome tale of what happened there, woven by the boy’s blood splattered across the ground.
Those few hours spent thinking he was dead had been followed by days of absolute certainty that Allen would never return to fight alongside any of them. And all Lavi could do was stare at the damn card, like something about it kept them connected. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so hollow, empty, transparent.
“I don’t wanna feel that way again.”
… Shit. Had he said that out loud?
It only took Allen a moment to realize what Lavi meant.
“I… I’m sorry… but I dont want to feel that way either… like I could have done something to prevent it… in the Ark, when you fell… I could have saved you, I could have used Clown Belt to grab you, but I froze.” his voice was getting choked up just thinking about what had happened, how he had felt at that time, thinking that Lavi was dead because he hadn’t reacted fast enough.
“Maybe its selfish… but I dont want to feel that way ever again. That you had died in front of me when I could have prevented it…”
He realized that he had never told Lavi what happened after he had fallen. How Allen attacked the Earl with no regard to his own safety, how the only reason he hadn’t fallen himself was because Cross stopped him. Allen had almost wanted to fall.
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