Author: codemageddon
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But now the question is, who would spread GF!Stan’s ashes in a Vegas ladies room?
Who will do it? Who will be The One for this deed?
I feel like Dipper and Mabel would be in different colleges at this point, but after hearing about Stan passing away, they’d both head over to Gravity Falls for the first time in years to pay their respects. So they go, and they see Soos and Wendy and everyone else again, and they all try to reconnect but it’s hard, because this really isn’t the situation they wanted to do it in.
And about a week or so afterwards, Dipper and Mabel have been roped into boxing up Stan’s stuff. So they’re in his room, halfheartedly joking about some of the weird things he kept, when they move the nightstand and discover there’s an ancient looking piece of notebook paper taped to its back- and it’s got Stan’s handwriting on it.
It seems to be an unofficial will of sorts, designating who Stan wants to get specific things, insulting various townspeople offhandedly and peppered with hastily scribbled out swear words. And it’s just so Grunkle Stan that the twins end up forgetting about boxing things up and just sit in the middle of the floor reading it together and alternating between laughing and crying because it’s somehow just too bizarre for him to be GONE.
They reach the last request on the will at the same time. For a moment they’re both silent, trying to process what it says, and then Dipper sighs and Mabel starts laughing again. They reread it a couple of times- though to be honest, neither one is that surprised- and then at the same time they turn to look at each other.
“We can’t.”
“No way.”
“I’m pretty sure that has to be illegal.”
“Totally.”
“….Let’s do it.”
“ROAD TRIP!”
So they get Wendy and Soos, and they all pile into Mabel’s deathtrap of a car which is kept together mostly by cheetah print duct tape and the force of sheer will, and buckle Stan’s urn into the shotgun seat- somehow nobody argues- and with Dipper driving, they take off for Vegas.
….Of course, with this being the Pines family, something inevitably goes supernaturally wrong, inviting strange and disturbing consequences, but that’s a different story.
THIS IS THE BEST ADDITION TO THIS POST B L E S S Y O U
I’ve been away from the fandom for so long, but this is the best thing I’ve ever read.
I’ve been thinking about liminal spaces a bit tonight. And truck/rest stops are often considered to be liminal spaces. Having family a few states over, I’m no stranger to family road trips and, by extension rest stops. There is one thing about them that I’ve thought about for years.
People work there.
There are people who are not just passing through, but show up day after day, clock in, work for hours, and then go home. Where do they live? What are they like? Are these liminal spaces no longer liminal for them? Its a set destination for them now.
What sort of weird shit do they see every day that they just sigh and return to mopping the floor? The unusual that is just another day on the job. That weird otherworldiness at 3am but whatever I’m on a break.
Perhaps they are immune to the effects of the passing spirits mixing with the mundane, cause how can you be in a liminal space if its your job? Maybe they are special caretakers that keeps the spirits moving on their way, giving directions to things no one else is supposed to see.
Either way they aren’t paid enough to deal with this shit.
so i work at a highway servo in a small rural town and i’ve done so for about a year. and 100% the creepy shit doesn’t stop, but you do sort of become resigned to it. like in the beginning i once screamed because saw myself in the mirror behind the milk and thought it was not me. but here’s some stuff i guess:
we keep the doors locked because crime exists so they make a beep sound when someone’s waiting to enter, but the amount of times i have checked the monitor and there has been nothing and no one there is not enough to say ‘general sensory problem’ but just enough for my anxious personality to be wary of the ghosts.
occasionally i discover large strange bugs i have never seen before that apparently only exist in the dead of a hot summer night. i also watch a lot of spiders crawl across the outside cameras.
once a man came in around 2am – no car, just wandered off the highway – and took every sausage roll and walked out without paying. which okay, theft happens. but he did it, looking into my eyes, and did not say a word as i called after him. he just walked in calmly, looked into my soul, remained entirely silent, and casually robbed the place. i was shook.
a cousin of mine who had been missing for three months once showed up.
and there’s this totally dead period between 3 and 5 where i usually mop the floors. which is why its weird when i find footsteps in my clean floors after ive finished.
plus, time passes differently in the freezer room . i fill up four full fridges worth of coke and red bull and other assorted soft drinks in fifteen minutes – like i’m not trying that hard its really not possible. and i know that because when i do the three fridges that cant be filled from behind, it takes me more like forty minutes or more.
i get strange customers who come in asking for directions with out-dated melways who don’t own phones and seem misplaced in time somehow but are always so very thankful. sometimes they ask for directions to places ive never heard even tho i’ve lived in the area my entire life.
or i get the same person at the same time to get the same thing every day. they have the same greeting and we have the same conversation like we’re stuck in a time loop. these pod people always come between 4 and 5am.
and i can safely say, you will never know fear until there is a 3am power outage in a storm and you are blanketed in absolute darkness so suddenly your heart stops beating. and then you have been outside in said storm taking out the rubbish and become soaked through like a drowned rat with only the weird glow of ur phone light with a painful 3% battery life to guide you.
overall its just a strange environment: deathly silent, with flickering fluorescent lights and grime in the back store that no matter how hard i try to clean never comes away and footsteps in the newly moped floor even tho there hasn’t been a customer and this room at the back entirely empty save only for ancient promotional material for products i’ve never heard of that makes me feel uneasy.
Trudeau prepares to cede Canadian sovereignty to U.S. border officials
Political deep integration continues apace. The Liberal government is in the process of passing an extraordinary piece of legislation, C-23, which effectively cedes Canadian sovereignty to U.S. border officials.
Under this Bill, expected to pass shortly, Canadians can be held for interrogation by U.S. border guards at airports, even if we decide we’ve had enough hostile questioning about our religion, political views, social media habits, or mode of dress, and decide to stay in Canada after all. If we try to get up and leave at that point, or decide we don’t want to answer more questions, we will be breaking Canadian law, and liable for arrest, conviction and imprisonment. Meanwhile, Canadian border officials in American airports will now have the right to prevent Canadian permanent residents from boarding an aircraft.
At a stroke, what we assumed were basic civic rights are being whisked away by the Trudeau government. American authorities will be able to detain Canadian citizens on Canadian soil, and the Liberals are making it a crime for us to refuse to co-operate. And just as American green-card holders are being harassed and blocked at U.S. airports, so Canada is now following suit against its own permanent residents, who – until now – had the unfettered right to enter Canada.
Pre-clearance has, of course, been a convenient way of entering the U.S. Better to be refused here than have to pay your way back from there. But this new law will apply, as noted, even to Canadians who change their minds about traveling to the U.S. after getting a taste of the Orange Era from a sneering American immigration official. It’s worth reiterating: you won’t just be able to walk away. You will remain under American authority, in Canada, and if you resist or refuse to answer an American interrogator’s questions, you can be prosecuted – by Canada.
This may seem to some like small potatoes. Most Canadians don’t fly to the U.S. Most who do are unlikely to be harassed at the border. But it is wrong, I think, to dismiss this move so easily. Giving Americans the right to detain Canadians on our own land, and subjecting the latter to prosecution if we fail to comply, is a significant break from the past. Does anyone believe that U.S. pressure will stop there and that more concessions won’t be made?
Trudeau’s grinning performance in Washington, strong handshake and all, was really a gesture of obeisance. It was a dutiful visit to the court of the mad king. He will sound tough on trade issues for domestic consumption, and try to recover his shining mantle after his dismal performance of late, but he is what he is: little more than a satrap, not the leader of a sovereign nation. Just watch him.
“Under the existing law, a strip search can only be conducted by a Canadian officer, though a U.S. officer can be present. Greene points out C-23 says if a Canadian officer is unavailable or unwilling, the U.S. officer can conduct the search.“So you could have a circumstance where the Canadian officer says, ‘No I don’t think a search is warranted here. I’m not willing to do it.’ But the U.S. officer just says, ‘Fine, we’re going to do it anyway.’"”
WTF.
Trudeau prepares to cede Canadian sovereignty to U.S. border officials
pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird:
Private eye: *holds up photo* Have you seen this guy around here recently?
Me: I don’t know, my memory isn’t all that great, if you know what I mean
Private eye: *slides me $50* Maybe this would help you remember?
Me, pocketing the money: Wow thanks dude, don’t know if it’ll do much to help but i’m willing to try anything at this point, by the way what was your name again? i know you told me like a minute ago but I kinda forgot
Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some gender conformity right onto her unclosed fontanelle! Say goodbye to awkwardly explaining that no, despite her bald head, your androgynous poop machine is actually a demure coquette! Glue your fucking baby today!
On the other hand, this could also be used to glue plastic spiders all over your baby’s head.
May's Blog 