Which Exorcist should you fight?

thegillnet:

Allen Walker: You might be able to beat him if you fight dirty. Consider bursting into tears in the middle of the fight and asking for forgiveness, this will probably distract him long enough for you to counterattack. It will ultimately make you a cheater and a terrible person but it’s worth a try. Fight Allen.

Yuu Kanda: Kanda killed a Noah. How many other people have killed a Noah so far? Answer: zero. Unless you are stronger than a Noah/feel you have too many limbs and want to get rid of some, do not fight Kanda.

Lenalee Lee: Fight Lenalee, but be prepared to get a stiletto heel up your ass.

Lavi: Fight Lavi. Anything to get him back into the goddamn story.

Arystar Krory: That depends. Is his hair all sad and flaccid-looking? Fight him, you’ll probably win. Is his hair doing that cockatoo thing? Do not engage, he will eat you.

Miranda Lotto: First of all, what the fuck is wrong with you? Fight Miranda? Honestly if you tried to fight Miranda you would lose because I would come over and personally kick your ass. Do not fight Miranda.

Noise Marie: We don’t know much about Marie, but we do know that he does not need to see in order to kick your ass. If you steal his headphones and yell a lot, you might win. Fight Marie.  

Chaoji Han: Be cautious. Fighting him might trigger some character development, resulting in him discovering some incredible hidden strength and  subsequently kicking your ass. Could your pride survive having your ass kicked by Chaoji? Maybe fight Chaoji.

Timothy Hearst: He is literally a small orphan child who turned to crime in order to save his orphanage. Who are you, a comic book villain? Satan? Do not fight Timothy.

Cross Marian: Do not fight Cross. He is powerful, mysterious, and could probably resolve the entire series if he wasn’t otherwise busy/no longer alive.

Anime Bob Ross Froi Tiedoll: He will beat the living shit out of you with his happy trees. Do not fight Tiedoll.

Klaud Nine: Look, it’s probably not a good idea to fight any of the Generals, least of all the one with a giant goddamn murder monkey.  

Winters Socalo: He literally fights with a giant, double-bladed saw called Madness. You do the math.