misslenalady:

imagine tiedoll giving lil kanda the ‘talk’

(maybe at 12?? is that a good age to be given the talk??)

and the whole time kanda is really confused bc tiedoll is only talking in euphemisms and kanda really doesnt know what he means by these ‘birds’ and ‘bees’.  

But he’s really curious by what he meant but didnt want to admit he didnt understand so he naturally goes and asks lenalee who is even more clueless, so you have the two lil excorsits running around wondering what sex is until lena decides to ask daisya. (which was a huge mistake) And he goes on about the more pleasue side of sex instead of the lovey dovey baby makin sex that tiedoll was explaining and then both lena and kanda are scarred for the rest of their lives but also still very confused bc these two experiences sound very different what is the truth. 

and this still goes on until lavi comes to the order (and hes a big know it all and also a teenage boy so he makes the occasional sex jokes /at least around kanda bc hes his age so he assumes that he would  have the same sense of humor as him/) but of course kanda doesnt get it and then lavi tries to explain it to him but this time hes scarred in a completely different way bc lavi’s so technical and he learned waaaay more than anyone should know about the human anatomy. 

And of course he recounts the event to lenalee so she at least gets only the necessary information instead of the encyclopedia that lavi recited to him but kanda is not very good at listening and even worse are explaining things so lena just goes to lavi herself and lavi is having a crisis bc he doesnt know what he should be telling this 14 year old girl and kandas just trying to get her out of it but lena really wants to understand so shes not having any of it. 

And so lavi tries to explain things to her a bit less technical and less scarring and kanda feels a bit offended bc he got the long, terrifying version and she got this pleasant, romantic shit like wtf. and both these boys get in trouble by komui bc they are corrupting innocent lenalee’s lil head, kanda almost lost a good chunk of his hair and lavi almost lost his other eye.